You'd think after 8 years of things called 'The Patriot Act' and 'No Child Left Behind' they would know that we have figured out the 'Call it what it ain't' PR ploy by now, but... um... no.
If I have anything, it's tenacity.
The pop musicians often leave meaning in the dust and substitute it for cartoons. The deeper artists - the grunge artists in the world and the emoticon people - tend to leave all of the happiness out of life like it just doesn't exist.
Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.
I try to be as ignorant about things as I can.
Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.
It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.
Someone needs to remind American CEOs that if you can't run a company that is innovative, financially sound and doesn't poison the rest of us, You can't run a company.
I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security.
All musicians need a day job in the beginning. Unless they still live with their parents, I guess. I'm just lucky that my day job is simply another form of art.
The name 'Charmageddon' actually comes from a social technique that I use. Which is, you know, literally obliterating people with charm so that you can get away with saying stuff that no one else could ever get away with, you know?
I'm as heterosexual as any person need be. I'm open about my relationships - or lack thereof - in my own life, because I want to make the case that gay isn't contagious. It's not something that you can catch or learn or choose.
Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids.
If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture. I think it's important to have substance for what you're saying.
If you are for freedom and equal rights, which we hear a lot of talk about these days, then you have to include the LGBTQ community in that. And if you're not willing to put your time where your mouth is, then I don't know quite what you mean by commitment in your life.
If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.
Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.
If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.
The important thing is having genuine regard for your audience.
I've been doing stand-up since I was 15 years old.