Joy Behar

Comedian

26 Quotes

I read the 'New York Times', I read 'The Nation', I read 'Newsweek', I read 'Time Magazine', I read 'Politico', I read 'Mediaite'. This is what I do! I read every day, I have interests, I'm like everybody out there who's watching, who's out there watching, you know?

I'm interested in so many different things and I'd like to cover a lot of territory. I'm trying to see my show as the Sunday 'Times.' You have the Arts & Leisure section, you have the Op-Ed page, you have the Book Review... even the Style section has those wonderful essays about relationships.

When people heckle me, I have the microphone. And the press has the microphone.

I want a man in my life, not in my house.

I don't get jealous of people. Jealousy is such a waste of time because you're jealous of them, and they go about their lives and have a wonderful time, so what's the point?

I am comfortable with myself, and this is how I am. I am not really interested in having an acrimonious fight with somebody.

The Republicans do not have feeling for people who are in bad shape.

Never eat at a Chinese restaurant named Mama Teresa's Trattoria.

Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. I like to work, and I fear that something could fall through. You know what they say: 'The show must go off.'

I do like talk shows. I'm interested in talking to people.

I think it's interesting to me to talk to people who don't agree with me all the time.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

Madeleine Albright, when you see her, she's not a beautiful woman and she's getting older. But you're saying that woman has gravitas. She knows what she's talking about.

I love a Dustbuster. You go around, pick up little crumbs, and everything is nice again.

I don't need a diet pill. I need something that gives you an electric shock when you reach for food.

It's a completely useless emotion - jealousy. I don't go there.

I don't profess to be an expert on anything, or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen, that's my position.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck could run for vice president.

I'm Italian, but some people think I'm Jewish because I work the Yiddish. I also work the Italian, by the way.

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe.

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